business news in context, analysis with attitude

Yesterday, I offered in “FaceTime” my favorite Irish joke.

Which prompted two MNB readers to to the same.
One MNB user wrote:

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.  He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.  He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.  As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.  A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.  He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.  He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room. 

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" 

Flynn said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?" 

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror...”

And MNB user Stewart Sundholm chimed in:

Patrick Fitzgerald is driving around looking for a place to park, running very late for a meeting.

Exasperated - he calls out to God and says "Dear Lord - please help me find a place to park! I promise to stop drinking, Ill go to church every Sunday and Ill even start treating my wife better!"

Thirty seconds later, Patrick comes across a spot right across the street from his meeting.

He then says to God: "Never mind, I found one..."

We got a million of them...

MNB will get back to the serious emails next week. In the meantime, have a happy St. Patrick’s Day.
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